From the Editor (December 2005)
Very few people know that billionaire Warren Buffet once owned a substantial portion of the AntiMuse publishing empire. So, when the Buff-meister himself called the office, it was a big deal.
I was at corporate headquarters of AntiMuse, fixing a gin and tonic, when the phone rang. “It’s not even noon yet,” I answered. “This better be damn good.”
Buffet responded. “Where’s the annual financial statement for AntiMuse? I told you to have it ready by this morning.”
“Financial statement? What the hell are you talking about?”
Old Buffinator seemed slightly agitated at my attitude. “It’s paper. It tells me how much money we’ve made.”
“Hang on,” I said as I ruffled through the stack of papers on my desk. “It’s here somewhere. Let’s see...overdue credit card bill...receipt from the strip club...receipt from the liquor store... aha!”
“Did you find it?” Buffet asked.
“I think so.”
“Well, what’s it say?”
I examined the sheet. “I’m not sure. Some of the numbers got smudged from the beer I spilled last night.”
“Well, what can you see?” Buffet asked.
“Well, I see some zeroes and junk like that. Hey, Buffy, are negative signs good?”
Shortly after, Buffet sold his stake in AntiMuse.
Michael Haislip is the editor of AntiMuse. For 6 years, he published the cult favorite American Assassin magazine, churning out almost 1000 pages of commentary and humor in that span. In his spare time, Michael is a freelance writer and musician. He also wishes it known that he has the longest biography out of all the staff writers.
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