Published Monthly

From the Editor (December 2004)
by Michael Haislip

AntiMuse plots world domination in 2005

The holiday season is upon us like a drunken lecher wearing a mistletoe belt. The cold November nights may have wiped out the local foliage and sent the plant life into hibernation, but the creative fire at the AntiMuse compound still burns.

Despite our low budget, limited talent, and dependence upon psychoactive substances, AntiMuse has survived—dare I say thrived?—through 2004. My personal thanks go out to all of our contributors and readers for sticking with us and not making fun of us to our face.

The staff and I have been plotting our strategy for 2005. Although I fiercely lobbied to annex Poland, the others say that move might be perceived as too aggressive by our readers. Instead, we agreed on a less imperialistic path.

The big project for 2005 will be the launch of AntiMuse Press. The Press will be the hardcopy publishing division of our enterprise. Expect to see an AntiMuse anthology by Christmas 2005 featuring the least mediocre ... err ... very best of our material.

Like most other groups in the known galaxy, we’ll also sell cheap merchandise to fund our operations. Soon, our fans can wear our logo on their heaving bosoms and/or masculine pecs. Remember, kids: if you’re not wearing corporate brands, you’re not conforming. And we all know what happens to those who don’t conform.

As you read this issue, take a little extra time to savor the contributions. Send our contributors an e-mail. Let them know you care. Take a few extra moments to appreciate how far we’ve come.

OK, that’s enough self-aggrandizing. Get to reading, you lazy bums. And don’t spill eggnog on my carpet. It’s a bitch to clean.

Michael Haislip is the editor of AntiMuse. For 6 years, he published the cult favorite American Assassin magazine, churning out almost 1000 pages of commentary and humor in that span. In his spare time, Michael is a freelance writer and musician. He also wishes it known that he has the longest biography out of all the staff writers.


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